The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

15:20 Jan 31 2006
Times Read: 584

what would i do with out your words?..

what would i do without your look?...

what would i do without your touch?...

what woudl i do without you?...



everything we have has been worked at and agreed upon everythign that we will have will be worked at an agreed upon. we are good for oneanother we keep eachother in line and love eachother endlessly we share many things we have had ups and downs but still manage to feel the same towards eachother and knowing these things makes me feel good knowing that i have you in my life and that youll never hurt me nore betray me i love you and appreciate everythign that you do and have done thank you baby..

21:55 Jan 30 2006
Times Read: 583

You say you love me but you dont you say youll be there but your not you say that this is in my hands now and if i want to keep you i have to prove thigns to you i shouldnt have to prove anything i am who i am and you should exept me for me and not what u want me to be, i change for nobody exept myself and i happen to think that i am fine where i am i am doing things to better my life and im doing it with out you so if you think i need you that bad you are sadly mistaken because i can be great on my own and my child will be taken care of and he will be wonderful and have the love that he needs and deserves dont ever think that because of my past i will fail at beign a mother as well i have news i will not fail at that my son means everythign to me and you will never know what i speak of for you wont be there to see or hear of it

To Whom This May Concern
20:52 Jan 26 2006
Times Read: 595

Look i am not now nore have i lately written any messages to you. if i had something to say i have your number dont you think i would call instead of writting some stupid ass message i have no problem being honest you should know that. im not going to get all bent outta shape over you or anybody else i have better thigns to do. so sorry that you thought it was me but its not from what i hear they are coming from my screen name well to take care of this so i dont get blamed for shit i didnt do im going to change my screen name it wont be right away but ill do it as soon as i can im tiered of hearing this bullshit and do not want to hear it anymore this is not an appology or anything of the sort this is me educating you .

Come Away With Me
10:08 Jan 26 2006
Times Read: 597

Come away with me in the night

Come away with me

And I will write you a song



Come away with me on a bus

Come away with me where they can't tempt us

With their lies



I want to walk with you

On a cloudy day

In fields where the yellow grass grows

knee kigh

So won't you try to come



Come away with me and we'll kiss

On a mountain top

Come away with me

And I'll never stop loving you



And I want to wake up with the rain

Falling on a tin roof

While I'm safe there in your arms

So all I ask is for you

To come away with me in the night

Come away with me





this is for my baby

09:57 Jan 26 2006
Times Read: 599

i simply cant get enough of how hard some try.. it is funny to me the words they speak and all the bullshit and dreamland they live in.. this does not bother me because i know of things that have not happened yet but will and they make me happy to think of. the stupidity of others will soon be seen and be no more. i love how i know of people in high places and get told all the wonderful things that are to happen but until they do i will sit back and watch i love that this has nothing to do with me and is out of anyones hands but theres but until the blessed day comes i will sit and watch and laugh at those who will be punished

06:00 Jan 25 2006
Times Read: 604




LordOfNoctemAeternus









23:36:23

Oct 29 2005



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i miss you so much baby i am so sorry i let you down. this shit hurts.. dam i wish we had our [place i am going to do all i can to get you home with me i love you jj



this was from my baby he wrote it too me shortly after i left i miss him everyday i was looking threw my saved messages and saw and it made me miss him and love him so much hes the sweetest most caring person i know and mind you he did not let me down it was hard for both of us and i left to come up to my moms for him and for the baby because thats what he wanted and i wanted to take care of my baby no matter how much i wish he were here with me everyday to share this awsome experience with me and watch my tummy grow and feel the baby when he moves he cant right now i await the day i finally get to see him i look forward to that day everyday even though i do not know when it will be but i hope it is soon i need him so much and i hate that we have been apart for so long it bothers me everday but when i hear his voice rather i am mad at him or not it feels good just to hear him since i have been gone i have bickered more with him than when i was there and i hate that i finally figuered that out when im with him i hardly ever bicker with him but now that i havent seen him in so long or anythign it just builds alot of testion but i love him and hes worth waiting to see i just hope i do not have to wait too long i love him so much i wish i coudl put it into words what i feel but i think that its impossiable to do because there is soo much.. but i will go for now i jsut wanted to write this and express it :)

05:31 Jan 25 2006
Times Read: 605

todya has been rather interesting i have heard many thing in which made em happy found out some new things that i found interesting although i cant talk about it i had a good day but i still have alot to talk about and find out but other than that i mainly jsut chilled today and took things easy i got to be mean to soemone who emailed me which i loved because i was not happy with what this peson wrote me so i decided to educate him hehehe it was fun needless to say i dotn think hell bother me anymore but anyhoo ill write more later im working on a new poem that ill most likey finish and post tongiht

07:13 Jan 24 2006
Times Read: 609

today started off a little crappy but got much better towards the end.. i got to talk to my baby twice so i felt good about that because i miss him lots and love to talk to him even if we bicker with eachother i still love hearing his voice ... ive been in lots of pain ever since i hurt my back somedays i just want to curl up into a ball and cry and others its just stiff but i can still move around but hopefully my massage therapist will beable to work her magic on me when i see her on friday cuz im starting to get real tiered of hurting this much ...... im gettign excited ill be having somemore pics taken of me and the belly my sister wants them badly and told mom that she had to take them soon and sen them too her so ill be addign more pics soon most likely but this weekend or maybe sonner not sure whenever we can get the tiem between her work schedule and her sleeping it hard to spent time with her during the week but anyhoo just thought id write somemore today well gotta go write more laters..-Jay

16:35 Jan 23 2006
Times Read: 611

pregnancy is a beautiful thing but damn it hurts... i love that i can feel him moving all the time and i love all the fun times but i dont like the back pain that part really sucks i mean i know after i have him im not even gonna care about any of that ill just be glad to have him and see him but for now it bothers me lol that and the leg cramps and hot flashes and all of that fun crap that comes along with beign prego lol but i like it and am happy i just really want to see him i cant wait to hold him and get to watch him sleep and move around few more months cant wait cant wait cant wait......that and i cant wait for his father to come up here i cant wait to see him either i miss him very much and i want him to get to see my belly and touch it and talk to our son before i pop him out lol but im just waiting for him to come up here and still waiting to pop out our son lol well just thought id write a little something for the journal :)

13:57 Jan 18 2006
Times Read: 616

To love..

To hate ...

To feel .....



These are the things that ponder in my mind

These are the thing in which i know are real



To love is the greatest thing to hold close to you to have someone to love or to simply know how can make all the difference



To hate can be one of the strongest things you will ever have although there is a fine line between love and hate and they occasionaly cross eachother it still keeps you going and strong



To feel this will be your friend when you have none it lets you know your still alive as does pain its when you feel nothing that you should be worried for yourself and others

11:56 Jan 10 2006
Times Read: 624

i always thought that some how you could have everything you ever wanted come true if you work hard enough for it it wasnt until jsut recently when i spoke to a friend of mine going threw some very hard things right now that , thats a bunch of shit she has worked hard her whole life and has done so well but she has lost everything that could have made a difference i feel bad that she has had to go threw this kinda stuff so young but yet i dont because she has made herself into an awsome person and her family that left her should feel ashamed because they walked out on something that great. she looks up to me alot and i can honestly say that i look up to someone alot younger than me she amazing and im glad to know her shes the bravest little person i know .....



jsut had to get soem stuff off my mind :)

09:56 Jan 09 2006
Times Read: 628

im here without you and it hurts me everyday

i wish that there were some way for me to steal you away and never let you go but i cnat you have things that you have to be there for and i cannot leave until our son is born i wish i would have never left or made that deal but if i didnt i wouldnt know what i do now and i wouldnt have what i have now the only thing missing is you and that kills me everyday that i have to do this with out you... well your not gone completely i still hold you close to me at all times and i speak of you everyday so even though you arent here physicaly you are in my heart and mind

23:05 Jan 04 2006
Times Read: 635

things are gettign hard and i hate it i wish that there was more that i could do i feel like im useless there was so much said and i just hope that things will turn up good i hope that somehow things will start to get easier because i do not wish to stay in a place that i do not feel home at yes i am wish loved ones who are helping me threw difficult times but im not with my own which makes things a little harder for me i will make sure that things are where they should be because i refuse to stay here i may if i have no choice but i choose to make sure i shouldnt have too its not ok with me at all we are trying and giving everythign we have and i knwo this but i never thought it would be this hard i just wish something good would happen to lighten this load off our shoulders



just letting some air out lol

06:07 Jan 04 2006
Times Read: 636

im so angry at everything i hate that my mind just wont stop all i can think about are things i dotn want to think about and im irritated with how people talk to me like it doesnt hurt my feelings or how they say things i wish people would jsut leave me alone and go away if they have nothing good to say they should not talk im tiered of hearing all the bullshit and all the stupid things they have to say i dont care not about them or their words im tiered of people telling me whats best for me like they would know anything.... my life is nobodys business but my own and i wish that others could see that the way i feel is if you cant contorl your own life or have a good one at least stay the fuck out of mine i have no need ofr people who are jsut going to fuck things up i have to much to do and too many things to worry about on my own i dotn need the added drama there are many people that i wish would jsut fall of the face of the earth they dont have a belonging or anything good about them all they want to do is cause hurt to others ..... i refuse to let myself get hurt or be around those that i do not care for i am my own person and nobody will ever make me do things i dont wish to do i have a life and a child to take care of and thats much better than anything else to me...so for those people out there who like to cause pain to others or like to be dramatic go fuck yourself your pathetic and you should have never been born i have no remorse for people like that if your life is so shitty try fixing it instead of making other peoples lives bad....





just venting and gettign some shit out

22:31 Jan 02 2006
Times Read: 642

wow another year come and gone what next lol....well last year wasnt so bad i had some shitty parts but everything happens for a reason just gotta learn from it and move on but this year will definantly be the year that i will never forget my lord /boyfriend and i will be having our child this year and im very excited to become a mom i have changed in so many ways because of this child and i am happy because i have changed for the good it has made me grow up alot and change my thinking and my ways of how i was and how i liked to live but our child means more to me than anything i used to do ever did... it shocks me to know that i love our child so much and i havent even met him yet lol its funny how you bond so fast but im glad

since ive been back in my old town i had forgotten just how much i was loved and missed by so many people that i was close to they are sad to know that i did not move back here to stay but they have been happy to see me and share this wonderful time with me but i promised to stay in touch and i have to make visits back every now and then other wise my mother would never forgive me lol shes very excited to be a grandma lol and shes been so wonderful threw all of this with me im glad i have her and people who care for me it means the world to me and ill never know how i can repay them for everythign they have done but they are forever in my heart but enough of all this sappy stuff jsut finguered id write somethign to start out the new year... happy new year and i hope everyone had a good time and that this year gos well for all..